I hope these two jokes put on a smile on your face this Monday morning!
Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One start to insult the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, "I slept with you mother!" The other weasel says: "Go home, Dad, you're drunk."
A married couple in their early sixties were celebrating their fortieth wedding anniversary in a romantic restaurant. Suddenly, a fairy godmother appeared. She said, "For being such an exemplary married couple, I will grant you each a wish." The wife answered, "I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." The fairy waved her magic wand and poof!--two tickets for the Queen Mary 2 appeared. The husband though for a moment, and then said, "Well, this is all romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry, sweetheart, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!--the husband became 92 years old. The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember fairy godmothers are female.